On-On! Welcome to one in what will soon be many installments of the HartFart H3 hash trash.
Mismanagement: Boner Donor (hare), High Bush, Garfield.
Attendance: Swampy and Priscilla (founders!), Hi I’m Gay, Smashmouth, Dr. Gonad, Cocktoberfest, Nipples Erectus, Leapfrog, Crabtree, a hasher from the university who hails from NCtrash hash (sorry I never got your hashname; I’m an asshole) and a bevy of Virgins: Just Alicia, Just Patrice, Just Rich, Just Lorien, Just Jen, Just Ari. If I missed anyone, sorry; I’m still an asshole ;-)
Ok, I don't want to brag or anything, but Hartford CPR was a wicked good hash. We, the 3 lonely organizers were tucked in the corner of the strip mall parking lot in Middletown 'round 2pm, behind a very imposing pile of pine bark mulch just beginning to steam in the growing heat of the day. Any threats of rain from the morning had dissolved and the weather got gorgeous. That was a good start but hey, we were still kind of nervous...We had about 10 folks who said they'd be there, and we'd thought that was pretty good. But it was getting later and we were just sort of wondering if anyone was really going to show or if this would pull the plug forever on the Hartford Hash House Harriers. Then the cars starting filing in, some with little foot stickers in the rear windows. Hashers came, including hashers from Boston and NY in addition to our Connecticut compadres in New Haven , Bethel/Ridgefield, and other points unknown. It was elating. So, by 2:15p with a rowdy pack now formed, the hare set off, filled with beer and bravado, laying trail hither and yon. First through the community garden of the senior center, over a fence (which many cleverly realized they could go around) then to the university campus, over many a playing field, church parking lot, hospital, more playing fields, and down the railroad tracks to the beer check: in a van…down by the river…
Okay so we weren’t in a van but we were most decidedly down on a closed stretch of river rd in the shade next to the water with a cooler of cold ones. Close enough. Competitive r*ning was definitely noted amongst some of the virgins; a fact which was stored for later use in the circle. As the pack filed in our insipid hare beat a hasty hare retreat to lay the rest of the trail, which followed the river and finished up back in the underbrush at the far end of Harbor Park . But said hare was a little too cock-sure and didn’t check the hell out of the final stretch. As a result, Garfield and Boner Donor barely got the beer and treats squirreled away in time to lay in wait while the pack took one last false trail under the tunnel (‘cause who can resist a tunnel?). The FRB (just Rich) did see us hustling our butts with coolers in hand, but at that point, he’d been enlisted as schlepper and compatriot and was himself carrying the trash. Phew…
A surprising array of broken glass and discarded underwear lay at our feet as we held Hardfart H3’s first circle of the year, with none other than founding member Priscilla as RA. After a very uncooperative interrogation, justdave was named BonerDonor and then made to drink a bottomless beer. And there was much rejoicing. The On-After was at Eli Canon’s, where their nigh-bottomless beer list was sorely tested, as were the sensibilities of any within earshot of our crew. All told a fine Re-re-renaissance for H4. Thanks to everyone who came and made it so great!! On-on to the next hash!! We hash jointly with NH4, and their very own Hi I’m Gay will be haring on Memorial Day weekend and look out for Hartfart’s 5-dollar hooker Hash cumming in June!
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